Clannad: Only a Dream
by Twinkielover
Summary: What if what happened in the anime didn't really happen at all? Everything that occurred was just a dream that Tomoya Okazaki had. His wife, Nagisa and child Ushio are still dead. Follow the story to see what Tomoya does and how he takes the death of both his wife and kid.


**Author's note:** _This story is based off an already existing anime series. So of course, I do not own Clannad, the characters, plot, or anything else related to this franchise. All credit goes to their respected people, groups, etc. Also note that I have removed any common formalities to their Japanese names in this story just for the sake of that wouldn't have to worrying about the formalities myself. Besides that enjoy._

CLANNAD: _Only A Dream_

Tomoya Okazaki awoke, his blue hair messy, and his eyes still wet from crying from the immensely vivid dream that he just had. He sat up and looked to the other half of the bed which was empty. Tears collected inside of him which he tried to hold back which overflowed into a bottle of emotions. So what was the dream about? It was just some sort of weird daydream that occurred in a few seconds in between Nagisa giving birth to their daughter, Ushio, and she didn't die after giving birth. You see Tomoya had a weirdly detailed dream where after giving birth to their child she died at birth because she is physically weak, she wasn't as physically strong as normal women her age are. He was alone with Ushio who he neglected to raise since he went into a deep state of depression while he mourned the death of Nagisa. Little to his knowledge when Ushio was born she was stricken with the same disease that her mother had and a few years after having Ushio she dies from the same cause of her mother, leaving Tomoya even worse. The next thing he knew was after he closed his eyes and reopened them that he was right next to Nagisa while she was given birth to Ushio. It seemed like it was some of weird time travel. This time Nagisa and Ushio survived and they were both able to raise their new daughter.

That's what it all seemed like to him. How weird that a dream could be so exact, so specific with that it seemed like it all happened in a matter of minutes. Tomoya turned in his bed so his face was buried in his pillow. His right eye caught a glimpse of one of a million of Nagisa's dango plushies which lied on her side of the bed. She use to love those things. Tomoya caught himself smiling slightly at that thought but then noticed the emotions, the memories, returning and that smile diminished into a frown followed by tears once more. It was all a dream. Every little bit of it.

A deep sense of depression overtook him as he recollected every little second that he spent with her. Her beautiful smile and adorable attitude always made him happy and allowed him to make it every day. What was he going to do now? Who would give him purpose in his life as much as Nagisa and Ushio did?

He was empty.

Alone.

After a while of sulking, a now daily routine in the morning, he got out of bed and prepared for the day. First he took a shower and threw on some new clothes, then ate breakfast, and finally brushed his teeth. He grabbed his leather suitcase from the kitchen table and made his way to the door where he threw on his shoes, walked outside, and locked the door. The air was crisp as Fall grew near and the weather became chillier. He got in his car and started driving to work with so much on his mind. He'd lost so much. He came to a stop at a stop light about a few miles away from his job and decided that he had somewhere that he wanted to stop first. Instead of going straight, past Tokyo Tower going north to his job's corporate offices, he took a left to a more secluded part of the town. A few miles down the road he stopped by a sign to a place that was all too familiar to him, his old high school. He stopped his car and looked out the driver's side window as he took in the school and all the memories that he had there. The school still stood, still in use . The cherry blossoms still lined the side of the road that lead to the front entrance. At the school students still walked along busily going about their daily routines. He remembered seeing Nagisa standing there in the middle of the road and when she randomly blurted out "sweet bean bread" because she was nervous and that was her method to calm herself down. Tomoya wore a broken smile as he remembered all his friends and all the good times that he had during High School. All the memories that all lead up to Nagisa and Ushio.

He broke himself out his deep thoughts, restarted his car which he shut down, and continued to drive. Down the way about a few miles from the school is a little side road that lead to where he was planning on going. As he continued on he still kept bringing back memories from stuff like school to friends, to his favorite batch of memories, being with Nagisa and Ushio. It seemed like only yesterday that he held his newly born child in his hand and it only seemed like a few minutes ago he stood at the foot of her tiny grave at the cemetery..just like Nagisa. He stopped that car at the entrance of the small dirt road and walked the rest of the way in. It was a nice summer day, the wind blew slightly keeping people cool with the hot sun that beat on the earth, and the birds chirped around them. Around him the trees swayed from left to right and the squirrels played around him. Eventually he reached his destination, a small cemetery which was surrounded by forest and protected by a tall brick wall. To the right, just before the entrance,is a small temple for praying and religious ceremonies and to the left was a small shack where a kind man of about 40 stayed and kept the grounds clean. He sadly knew of Tomoya too well from both Nagisa and Ushio's death. Tomoya thought this was a nice, peaceful, place to bury them. That day he was at his lowest. Before the ceremony he binge drank a bunch of bottles of beers and smoked two packs of cigarettes. After he drove home and then drank some more. This time Tomoya was sober but still scarred from the loss of his beloved wife and child. Tomoya carried with him a red backpack which looked back with a few things inside. Near the rear of the cemetery to the right, next to a tree, stood their grave stones. Their bodies were cremated and placed in some nice silver urns where they were buried here. The graves were beautiful the day of Ushio's funeral. Those who came decorated their graves with red and pink roses. Now most of the flowers lay dead.

"Dead….just like me inside…" he thought.

"He opened his bag and grabbed a new bundle of red roses which were neatly tied together with a pink ribbon and placed it in between both their graves.

"I...I" Tomoya began but started sobbing, "I miss you both some much."

He felt the warm tears trickle down his face as he continued to talk to both their graves,

"You know that it's funny. I thought that it was like a fairy tail. Finding you Nagisa, falling in love, marrying, and having our beautiful child. You both had made me such a happy man...for that I am grateful…"

Tomoya went back into his backpack and pulled out two picture frames, one with Nagisa and another with Ushio, kissed it, and put it on their graves. He then took out two candles which he also placed on either of their graves and lit them. Then he continued talking,

"..but I realized something you know? Not all stories have a happy ending."


End file.
